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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I Forgive You because I Love Me

 I'm  now 59 days into intense self-study.  With that comes trips down memory lane through the reading of journals and the sweeping up of debris still stuck in my mind-attic. Just the other day I found an old journal in my real-live attic in my home from way back in 2004. It was a program Caroline Myss wrote and the very first assignment presented was to write about different "Contracts" we had with people in our lives where we still felt harmed in some way. In the process of doing this, we came to realize how these people who had harmed us, had taught us about ourselves and had added to our life experience, becoming significant teachers on our life path. It wasn't until late last year that I finally began to let go of the most painful experiences I had had and it was only through forgiveness that I began to heal completely. I now realize that I went through all of these things in order to help others in similar situations. I am now grateful for the experiences I have had.  Today I find it very easy to forgive people because now I don't blame them or take on a victim role, rather I look for the lesson they are there to teach me. 

 Ironically, as I focus on myself,  I am finding it much easier to become less self-absorbed and hear, feel, and see clearly where humanity is suffering. What I am hearing, seeing, and feeling is our habit of holding on to entirely too much emotional junk that does not serve us as individuals or as a collective whole. We are walking around wounded, wounding others and further harming ourselves. We re-live our painful childhoods, broken friendships, "failed" careers, divorces, often blaming others, waiting for them to apologize to us, but, we rarely find the peace we are looking for based on an apology, as the only real peace we find is through forgiveness that comes from the heart knowledge that we are all connected. Truth is, we all screw up somewhere, sometime, and all of us have room to forgive as well as to be forgiven.

 Why should you forgive that no-good asshole? When you hold on to resentment toward someone, you are bond to them energetically and they own a piece of you. If you want to be free you must let their harmful actions go. This does not mean you have forgotten what has happened and you should still be discerning, but holding onto anger, blame, and hurt is like drinking poison over and over again and what it is killing is your joyful spirit. Why are you giving them more of your life? Instead of letting them take more of your life away, see the gift they have given you. Maybe they have taught you to increase your intuition so you are not harmed again? Maybe they have taught you just how powerful you really are?

So, how do you do this without talking to the person who has hurt you? This may seem a bit hokey, but I use it and it works. Because of our energetic connection with every living being on this planet, we can easily connect at a higher level of awareness if we are so inclined. Just as you think of someone and suddenly they call you, you can call on some one's "higher self" and reach them in a way you may not realize. If you pray, you are trusting that God is ever-present and you can tap into the source at anytime. Like-wise we can do this with each other. I suggest finding a quiet space, breathing deeply and slowly (the best way to connect with your heart-space), begin to visualize your higher self and the person you need to forgive, their higher self, and have a conversation right there.  The conversation must not have blame or hurt surrounding it, only words that offer forgiveness and love. You are not excusing their actions, but seeing past those actions to their purest, joyful, loving self. This understanding and awareness breaks down walls and actually opens energy up for healing to take place. I have done this without the other person ever knowing and it is amazing how my relationship changed with them. Try it. Don't take my word for it. Do it and see what happens. Your thoughts and intentions are powerful. Use them for the greatest good and you will have joy and you will have peace.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~Mahatma Ghandi


YogaforCynics said...

As Nelson Mandela said: "unforgiveness is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemies." (I've also heard that as "resentment," but don't know if that's because of misquoting or because the original wasn't in English, so they're just different translations...damn, I'm an English major...).

R. Ramesh said...

super headline says it all..and thanks friend..nice to hear fm u after a long time..sure all wisshes always:)