108 Days of Svadhyaya Proposal

Oh hello again clouded perception of reality, it's been so long since we have met and now you are back and I want you to go away because I am way behind and you are keeping me from moving forward. Seriously, do be kind and step aside because you are overstaying your welcome and I don't need you anymore. Why do you keep trying to pull down my bar of very high standards I have for myself, it works for me. Or does it?  I guess it does hurt.......... just a little........ok, a lot. Maybe that bar I've set is unrealistic and I'm doing things all kinds of wrong and all kinds of backwards.

 This summer is a summer of growing pains. I don't pretend to have any real troubles, as my life is blessed and cushy, and I don't take it for granted, in fact, it's so wonderful I usually don't allow myself to grieve for very long and I beat myself up if I feel sorry for myself for more than 5 minutes. I am one of the, as they say, "lucky" ones. I am also human and humans have struggles and all of our emotions that go along with these struggles are the same.There are only so many emotions we can choose from as humans and well, we've all been there done all of them.

Our life is full of teachers who teach us something every day, unfortunately most of our lessons are learned in the depth of despair because without pain we wouldn't change anything. My teachers the past six months come in the form of very close friendships that have hit major Obstacles (Call on Ganesha), the death of my Grandfather who did his own part in helping to raise me and influence me in ways that help me achieve success today, and the death of my 18 year old cat (I was there when both passed). While my Grandfather and Cat were passing away, I canceled ALL of the things I had held as high priority in order to be there with them. For once in my life I did not care about achieving my external goals and all I wanted to do was embrace my entire family and give myself a break from things I DO for a living, but things that are not ME. Guess what happened? Everything went on fine without me, deadlines for awesome opportunities were missed, and nothing horrible came of it. I also noticed my anxiety I have been living with the past 8 years was gone! Just. Like. That.

This got me thinking about ME a lot. Why have I been an overachiever since I was a child? Why do I care about who is there for me and who is not there for me? Why do I care about how many credentials I can put after my name? Why do I sacrifice myself and my family for people who would probably be fine and dandy without my "advice" or council. Why do I feel the need to offer so much advice or council anyway? My answer isn't that interesting. My answers is simply,"You don't want to take the time to just be with YOU."You don't hold yourself as high importance. Well, that's got to change because I am getting sick and tired, literally.

So, I am proposing a challenge to myself for myself to clear my muddy lens of perception once and for all (until that next time). Svadhyaya or self study is the Fourth Niyama or Personal Observances of the Pantanjali Yoga Sutras. I've spent a lot of time studying ways to help and support others and myself, but I've never actually taken the time for a deep interacting with myself, where I put this interaction first, no exceptions. I'm not really certain how all of this will go, but it will consist of attending more frequent yoga classes, pranyama & meditation daily, and more Ayurvedic Study and Application than I currently incorporate into my life. I will do this while living a normal, fast paced Western Life because there is no way around it and there is no cave to escape into. I have Dharmas (duties) to attend to, that I agreed to, though I now feel the first one needs to be a facing of the self. My goal is to find a way to live in this culture in a way that serves, me, my family, and finally, my career. I want to live a life free of anxiety once and for all. Can I do this? I feel I can if I promise myself to stay committed to my aim.

While my focus has always been on others, I don't expect that to change, as I love people and I live to serve, but for 108 days I will serve myself first and my healing will allow me to serve in greater numbers when I am living free of anxiety and honoring the Vedic teachings I have learned through greater application into my life. I also plan on bringing back into my life things I enjoy that I have neglected in order to have more time to "help everyone else". I have no measuring stick for this, no method really, but I plan on trusting myself to lead the way. That's the first step.

Start Date? I don't know that either, but self is telling me sometime in the beginning of September. I also plan on keeping this journey logged in this blog. I've been "blogging" on-line since before blogs existed and it's something I always enjoyed and gave up to, again, "help everyone else"first.

Soooo, muddy perception, may you leave, Bye Bye. I'm ready to do the work and  face the truth.

"Make no mistake about it- enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing through the facade of pretense. It's the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true." ~ Adyashati

Resolving to Resolve Nothing in 2010

Here is my list of resolutions for 2009.

Ameliorate my patois since people tend to repudiate the fact that I possess a Master’s Degree. (I kept this up for about one week, I only learned about two new words all year long).

Train to run a ½ Marathon (I said train…..not actually do it, if I do it, I want a platinum cookie). (Never even came close to happening, most I ever ran was 3 miles...almost).

Learn at least one song on my guitar and post on U-Tube for all to enjoy/make fun of. (I learned about 4 chords and forgot all of them already.)

Expand my knowledge of Ayurveda to a more substantial level. (Okay, I did do this! YES!)

Renew my wedding vows, written by yours truly, using my expanded vocabulary! (This never happened either, but in my heart it's all good.)

So, I figure I'll have much more success this year if I resolve to resolve nothing.

CHEERS!

Namaste'

Sat Nam

Amen

Fall Into Balance

Fall is my favorite season, even though my already abundance of Vata goes haywire if I am not careful. With each change of season we all react in various ways, but nature usually takes over giving us the signals our body and mind need to keep us balanced, however, most of us ignore the innate signals due to habit and lack of awareness.

Ayurveda teaches that our constitutional make-up changes with the seasons and so should our habits. It’s natural for us to change our clothing and adjust the temperature of our houses and occasionally we may even have the urge for warmer or cooler foods when appropriate , but many of us do not understand how important this truly is! Being that most of us are focused on the physical self, we underestimate that the changes of season also significantly impact our energetic body as well, sending us in mood swings we think are out of our control.

So, how can we alter our lifestyle a bit to stay balanced during the changing seasons? If we take the steps to alter our diet and activities we choose, we can help ourselves transition with the changing seasons with grace.

So, what’s happening? In the Fall, Vata which is composed of air/ether is high and if out of balance our skin can become dry, constipation is more prevalent, the mind restless with anxiety, and/or depression, and we become more prone to colds or the flu. When balanced, Vata is full of creativity and mentally sharp.

Here are some recommendations to keep you healthy and help ward off those nasty colds and feelings of nervousness and depression that can occur during the Fall:


Chow ON (Think Warm and Grounding)

Do note that all diets should be in-season and adjusted for your individual constitution, so what I write here is simply a guide)

Drink warm liquids: like tea, warmed milk, chai, lassi
Sour Fruits: Cherries, cranberries, apples etc…
Vegetables: sweet potatoes, peas, beets, carrots, eggplant, squash, peppers (not green), artichokes, green beans, yams.
All nuts are groovy.
Grains: Cream of wheat, rice, pasta
Protein sources such as eggs, fish and white meat are good.

Foods to reduce: Dry cereals, cold or iced foods, barley, corn, buckwheat, rye, dried fruits (raisins are fine when soaked in water first. Dates are fine.), and Raw Salads (I know, this one is tough)

Fall Practices/Activities
Abhyanga or Daily self-massage with a warm oil (I keep mine in a bottle and warm it and put it on before I shower). Use oils such as sesame, olive, or almond
Meditation
Yoga Asana

Asana For a Healthy Immune System!*

Twists act as a tournaquit massaging and rejuvenate immune organs and channels.

Inversions such as Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog pose) improve the flow of the sinuses and help flush mucous from the lungs. A favorite of mine is Viparita Karani (Legs up the wall pose) Forward Bends do the same thing!

Backbends are lung openers like Ustrasana (Camel pose)

Restorative Yoga poses can provide healing benefits during low periods of energy often experienced during the Fall and Winter

*If you have any injuries, please consult your doctor or an experienced yoga teacher before practicing.