"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."
~ Dawna Markova
I don't believe in Death, but in rebirth. Even still I can not help but feel helpless and full of grief when I visit aging relatives, terminally ill family/friends, or attend funerals. In fact, I am afraid of these situations, not because I am afraid of death, but rather afraid of the feeling of helplessness that overwhelms me when I am faced with it.
Yoga teaches us that we are all connected, what I do to/for you, I do to/for myself. I know this to be true for me, but when there is nothing I can do to help and am left with the position to "watch" the aging, illness, dieing, or what have you, I tend to avoid these situations. Avoidance=Guilt as I resist what I am observing.
Today I sit and blog because I am procrastinating having to travel to a funeral for someone on one side of the family and visit my aging Aunt and Grandparents on the other side of the family. To top this off, I'll be seeing a dear friend who's light is almost gone from her eyes due to substance abuse and care-taking of a child who may not live past age 7.
In most situation I am a helper, not an observer. I tend to observe and follow with action.
In the situations above I feel helpless and I become the observer fraught with guilt.
I went to my 1st funeral in Kindergarten for a neighbor named Mr. Purty. I did not understand what that meant, I just knew he was no longer there when I walked over for a visit. Around this same time I found a dead squirrel and I tried to bring it back to life, but could not, so I buried it, just like they did Mr. Purty.
I come from a huge family, so I have since been to many funerals and hospitals and I prefer the ones where they celebrate the life of the person rather than focus on the death. These deaths have all been due to age and I wonder if they lived like the quote above? That is worth celebrating.
I have also had 3 friends die very young from cancer or complications from surgery due to cancer. One was one of my best friends from high-school & Freshman year roommate in collage. I traveled from Dallas to Houston to see this friend in the hospital and finally when she was at home on hospice. I remember clearly sitting with her parents and them planning her funeral while she lay in the next room, while they should have been planning a wedding or some other event for a young twenty-something. I also remember clearly reading the "do not resuscitate" papers on the kitchen counter. I wanted to run away from this. The last thing I did for her was spoon feed her a dream-cicle flavored snow cone (she died two days later). The other two were twins of a friend I consider family. The first twin was actually present when my friend above died. Right after she died he found out he had cancer and died within a few months. I went to see him in the hospital several times too. I will never forget the face of his mother at his funeral or the screams she let out over his coffin. His twin became ill with the same cancer his twin had a couple of years later and then passed from complications of surgery. I had not seen the family in years when I attended the second funeral, but his mother had the same look in her eyes and tremble in her body when she hugged me. The brother of the twins (one of my dearest friends) felt helpless and guilty through each brother's illness. He too struggled with just observing.
So, here I sit reflecting on the many deaths I have witnessed and realize that I have the same feeling at each funeral, whether I knew the person well or not. Is it because I have always believed death to be more of a re-birthing, even when I was raised to think otherwise? If I believe this, then why do I feel the need to move beyond Observer to more of a care-taker position? Why do I embrace guilt as a punishment for my lack of care-taking abilities?
As for aging and my Grandparents and my Aunt, every time I see them I feel sad and helpless. My inner child remembers them differently and wants them back the way they were. My Grandparents helped raise me and my Aunt never had children, so she always treated her nieces and nephews as her own. I adopted her an as an honorary Grandmother years ago. Last time I saw my aunt in the retirement home she said,"Get me out of here!" and then bit me. I left (without her) telling myself I would never go back. I am going back tomorrow and she is in even worse shape now and has since moved to a nursing home. My Grandparents are a whole other story, but when I see them I am happy-sad for lack of a better word. I could help them so much more, but I choose not to. Observer guilt setting in.
In any case, it is time to stop procrastinating while I live a life I can be proud of. I am proud of myself for facing my fears for the next few days and my intention is to be okay with being the observer. I'll do my best.
Vote For Me! YAY!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Choosing Silence
As a whole, we are all much more busy and less focused than ever. We are overstimulated with constant communication. We get upset when we can not get a hold of someone in 3 minutes. ***hold on a text just came in***
We are so busy trying to connect with others that we have ceased connecting with ourselves and in doing so our emotions are no longer stable, but rather in a state of flux. Much like this:
As I was saying, we are constantly multi-tasking in order to connect with others. We can blog, text, email, shop, and listen to the horrible news on the TV all at once. ***hold on, gotta go get some juice for my kiddo***
We have this unyielding need (desire) to work more, volunteer more, buy more, be more (beautiful, social, educated, etc..). ***Oh look, Mike's status on Facebook indicates he is doing absolutely nothing at the moment, but isn't he on Facebook?***
I don't think we know how to do "nothing" anymore. I think it's a problem. This is simply my opinion and nobody asked for it, but for the sake of being too idle, I thought I would muse a bit.
We are simply too busy, yet we keep piling on more!
I have been off of my anxiety medication for six months now and while I live with a constant state of panic, a heaviness in my chest, I am determined to relieve my anxiety as naturally as I can this time. I have put in countless hours of research regarding anxiety and here are the symptoms I have found that I live with almost constantly unless I am teaching or practicing yoga. Truly, these two times are the only times I find peace.
I Experience:
* Feelings of apprehension or dread
* Trouble concentrating
* Feeling tense and jumpy
* Irritability
* Restlessness
* Feeling like my mind has gone blank
* Pounding heart
* Stomach upset
* Shortness of breath
* Muscle tension
* Headaches
* Fatigue
While anxiety is the natural and healthy response to fight or flight, having these sensations constantly indicate I have a problem. While I would love to spend 24 hours a day practicing yoga asana, meditation, or pranayama, I don't think this would bode well in my life as a modern-day woman. *** Hold on gotta make sure the kids are ready to leave for our 30 errands of the day as soon as I finish this blog***
So, what am I to do?
I am choosing to go silent and make the connection to myself. I have not been listening much to Self and now it is time. Yes, I am volunteering to be in my very own, overly processed head. Alone. I am also researching various silent retreats and hope to be brave enough to attend one in the next year. I have started a 40 Day Journal to record this process. I will not be seeking counsel from others, but rather, depending on my intuition and trust I will make the changes needed to return to a more healthy and balanced state of being. The only way I can get there is to stop and listen.
“See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence...we need silence to be able to touch souls.” Mother Teresa
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Thursday, How I Love Thee
First of all, I was born on a Thursday. Naturally, this means Thursdays on this planet became that much more special on March 1, 1973.
I had a Vedic Astrologer tell me that Ganesha is my Hindu Deity and that Thursday is the day I should pay my respects to Ganesha. Oddly enough, when I visited India, Ganesha was the only Deity I bowed down to.
The Vedic Astrologer also said that Ganesha's color is orange and that I should wear orange on Thursdays, so I do. I wear Orange every Thursday.
Here is a picture of me, on a Thursday, sporting my favorite orange Prana pants!
I enjoy teaching yoga on Thursdays, so I teach two classes back to back. Never before have I enjoyed teaching back to back classes, but for some reason Thursdays work for me. Also, the classes have a different vibe than any of the others I teach. Maybe it's just me feeling groovy in my orange clothes, sitting on top of my orange yoga rug used only for teaching, with my orange Klean Kanteen close by.
Happy Blissful Thursday, may all of your Thursdays be filled with great joy and an abundance of happiness!
A Thursday quote for you:
“Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.”
~Jeff Raskin
I had a Vedic Astrologer tell me that Ganesha is my Hindu Deity and that Thursday is the day I should pay my respects to Ganesha. Oddly enough, when I visited India, Ganesha was the only Deity I bowed down to.
The Vedic Astrologer also said that Ganesha's color is orange and that I should wear orange on Thursdays, so I do. I wear Orange every Thursday.
Here is a picture of me, on a Thursday, sporting my favorite orange Prana pants!
I enjoy teaching yoga on Thursdays, so I teach two classes back to back. Never before have I enjoyed teaching back to back classes, but for some reason Thursdays work for me. Also, the classes have a different vibe than any of the others I teach. Maybe it's just me feeling groovy in my orange clothes, sitting on top of my orange yoga rug used only for teaching, with my orange Klean Kanteen close by.
Happy Blissful Thursday, may all of your Thursdays be filled with great joy and an abundance of happiness!
A Thursday quote for you:
“Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.”
~Jeff Raskin
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Avocado Love
I am not one hundred percent certain of much, but one thing I am certain of, one thing that never changes, is my love for avocados.
Me + Avocados= Love
That's all I really KNOW right now. Many changes happening in my beautiful, complex life, but my love for the fruit also known as the "Butter Pear" remains a constant.
Me + Avocados= Love
That's all I really KNOW right now. Many changes happening in my beautiful, complex life, but my love for the fruit also known as the "Butter Pear" remains a constant.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Smiles & Laughter Bring Insight
The past three months have been some of the most challenging months of my short 36 years. My challenges pale in comparison to many on this planet, but still, they are my own and I have the right and responsibility to sit with these challenges and learn from them the best way I know how.
Sometimes I just do this:
Okay, I admit it, I always ask for counsel from my closest friends who I know will tell me areas I need to explore and improve upon, this way I don’t become disillusioned about how everything is everyone else’s fault and responsibility. It also helps that they don't charge me anything and they also give out free hugs.
Which brings me to this:
Recently I had a conversation with someone that literally made me want to throw up, but given I was sitting in my newly cleaned car I opted to have a nervous breakdown instead. This option was less messy, especially since I was not wearing make-up that day or else I might have opted to get out of my car and just run screaming, sweaty, but make-up still intact.
As a yoga teacher I vow only to teach what I know and what I know changes from day to day. I had to plan my class theme for the week after this happened. I asked one trusted friend, ”What should I do? I can’t teach pulling the covers up over our heads for and hour and fifteen minutes. Another friend said, ”Just give yourself this day to grieve, nothing more.” I personally thought, in my mind, she was nuts, as I am the wallowing type (I know, yuck right?). Finally, another friend said,” I am teaching laughter this week.” I said, “I am so stealing that idea.” She said, ”Go ahead!” So, collectively my friends came to my rescue and in doing so gave me a wonderful idea for one of my favorite class themes ever.
What I learned was that I CAN make a choice. Instead of one full day of grieving, I gave myself around 8 hours. I started looking for things that made me laugh and in doing so changed my view. I also cleared the view for what had transpired and gained perseverance from it and in such a joyful way to boot. I never thought I could turn myself around like that. Laughter and Smiles became my theme and the asana of the week became Handstand because seriously, who can practice Donkey Kicking up into Handstand without a smile? My pranayama became the Smiling Breath. There is nothing like looking over a classroom where everyone is smiling, including yourself, when less than 24 hours before you wanted to ram your head into some drywall.
A Few Good Quotes:
Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. ~Author Unknown
When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other. ~Alan Alda
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. ~Kurt Vonnegut
A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~Mary H. Waldrip
A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
-- Author Unknown
Benefits of Laughter:
It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.
-- Author Unknown
Laughter Decreases "Stress" Hormones
The results of the study also supported research indicating a general decrease in stress hormones that constrict blood vessels and suppress immune activity. These were shown to decrease in the study group exposed to humor.
For example, levels of epinephrine were lower in the group both in anticipation of humor and after exposure to humor. Epinephrine levels remained down throughout the experiment.
In addition, dopamine levels (as measured by dopac) were also decreased. Dopamine is involved in the "fight or flight response" and is associated with elevated blood pressure.
Laughing is aerobic, providing a workout for the diaphragm and increasing the body's ability to use oxygen.
Laughter brings in positive emotions that can enhance – not replace -- conventional treatments. Hence it is another tool available to help fight the disease.
Experts believe that, when used as an adjunct to conventional care, laughter can reduce pain and aid the healing process. For one thing, laughter offers a powerful distraction from pain.
In a study published in the Journal of Holistic Nursing, patients were told one-liners after surgery and before painful medication was administered. Those exposed to humor perceived less pain when compared to patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy.
Perhaps, the biggest benefit of laughter is that it is free and has no known negative side effects.
Muscle Relaxation - Belly laugh results in muscle relaxation. While you laugh, the muscles that do not participate in the belly laugh, relaxes. After you finish laughing those muscles involved in the laughter start to relax. So, the action takes place in two stages.
Reduction of Stress Hormones - Laughter reduces at least four of neuroendocrine hormones associated with stress response. These are epinephrine, cortisol, dopac, and growth hormone.
Immune System Enhancement - Clinical studies have shown that humor strengthens the immune system.
Pain Reduction - Humor allows a person to "forget" about pains such as aches, arthritis, etc.
Cardiac Exercise - A belly laugh is equivalent to "an internal jogging." Laughter can provide good cardiac conditioning especially for those who are unable to perform physical exercises.
Blood Pressure - Women seem to benefit more than men in preventing hypertension.
Respiration - Frequent belly laughter empties your lungs of more air than it takes in resulting in a cleansing effect - similar to deep breathing. Especially beneficial for patent's who are suffering from emphysema and other respiratory ailments.
So..laugh on ya'll!
Sometimes I just do this:
Okay, I admit it, I always ask for counsel from my closest friends who I know will tell me areas I need to explore and improve upon, this way I don’t become disillusioned about how everything is everyone else’s fault and responsibility. It also helps that they don't charge me anything and they also give out free hugs.
Which brings me to this:
Recently I had a conversation with someone that literally made me want to throw up, but given I was sitting in my newly cleaned car I opted to have a nervous breakdown instead. This option was less messy, especially since I was not wearing make-up that day or else I might have opted to get out of my car and just run screaming, sweaty, but make-up still intact.
As a yoga teacher I vow only to teach what I know and what I know changes from day to day. I had to plan my class theme for the week after this happened. I asked one trusted friend, ”What should I do? I can’t teach pulling the covers up over our heads for and hour and fifteen minutes. Another friend said, ”Just give yourself this day to grieve, nothing more.” I personally thought, in my mind, she was nuts, as I am the wallowing type (I know, yuck right?). Finally, another friend said,” I am teaching laughter this week.” I said, “I am so stealing that idea.” She said, ”Go ahead!” So, collectively my friends came to my rescue and in doing so gave me a wonderful idea for one of my favorite class themes ever.
What I learned was that I CAN make a choice. Instead of one full day of grieving, I gave myself around 8 hours. I started looking for things that made me laugh and in doing so changed my view. I also cleared the view for what had transpired and gained perseverance from it and in such a joyful way to boot. I never thought I could turn myself around like that. Laughter and Smiles became my theme and the asana of the week became Handstand because seriously, who can practice Donkey Kicking up into Handstand without a smile? My pranayama became the Smiling Breath. There is nothing like looking over a classroom where everyone is smiling, including yourself, when less than 24 hours before you wanted to ram your head into some drywall.
A Few Good Quotes:
Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. ~Author Unknown
When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other. ~Alan Alda
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. ~Kurt Vonnegut
A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~Mary H. Waldrip
A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
-- Author Unknown
Benefits of Laughter:
It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.
-- Author Unknown
Laughter Decreases "Stress" Hormones
The results of the study also supported research indicating a general decrease in stress hormones that constrict blood vessels and suppress immune activity. These were shown to decrease in the study group exposed to humor.
For example, levels of epinephrine were lower in the group both in anticipation of humor and after exposure to humor. Epinephrine levels remained down throughout the experiment.
In addition, dopamine levels (as measured by dopac) were also decreased. Dopamine is involved in the "fight or flight response" and is associated with elevated blood pressure.
Laughing is aerobic, providing a workout for the diaphragm and increasing the body's ability to use oxygen.
Laughter brings in positive emotions that can enhance – not replace -- conventional treatments. Hence it is another tool available to help fight the disease.
Experts believe that, when used as an adjunct to conventional care, laughter can reduce pain and aid the healing process. For one thing, laughter offers a powerful distraction from pain.
In a study published in the Journal of Holistic Nursing, patients were told one-liners after surgery and before painful medication was administered. Those exposed to humor perceived less pain when compared to patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy.
Perhaps, the biggest benefit of laughter is that it is free and has no known negative side effects.
Muscle Relaxation - Belly laugh results in muscle relaxation. While you laugh, the muscles that do not participate in the belly laugh, relaxes. After you finish laughing those muscles involved in the laughter start to relax. So, the action takes place in two stages.
Reduction of Stress Hormones - Laughter reduces at least four of neuroendocrine hormones associated with stress response. These are epinephrine, cortisol, dopac, and growth hormone.
Immune System Enhancement - Clinical studies have shown that humor strengthens the immune system.
Pain Reduction - Humor allows a person to "forget" about pains such as aches, arthritis, etc.
Cardiac Exercise - A belly laugh is equivalent to "an internal jogging." Laughter can provide good cardiac conditioning especially for those who are unable to perform physical exercises.
Blood Pressure - Women seem to benefit more than men in preventing hypertension.
Respiration - Frequent belly laughter empties your lungs of more air than it takes in resulting in a cleansing effect - similar to deep breathing. Especially beneficial for patent's who are suffering from emphysema and other respiratory ailments.
So..laugh on ya'll!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Summah-Time Yoga
I really should be on my way to the studio right now, but my kids are like this:
I am not one for "fighting" to get to a yoga class and will consider my children's vacation from school as a sign I need to get a little more serious about my personal practice. Oh, but how I love to socialize with my favorite people at Blue Anjou, the best yoga studio in the history of ever (as my good friend Leila likes to say).
Here we are: (Kent Pilkington Photography)
With all of my boot camping, running, and biking I've been doing this summer, my quads are feeling pretty rock solid and my hip flexors feel shorter.
Anatomy Lesson? Ok.
While a nice, slow, Vinyasa Flow class is sounding quite loverly right now, it is a gentle, Yin Yoga class my body needs. The beauty of a personal practice is that I can do exactly what my body needs and then afterward I will be forced to socialize with myself and that's not such a bad thing is it?
My Plan:
Because Yin yoga focuses on the connective tissues of the body, we must hold these asanas for several minutes. Originally there were only 14 Yin poses, but naturally, we (meaning the masses who teach yoga and think they know better)have created more, so I have plenty of options to choose from. A Yin practice is perfect for athletes and teaches us about the softer side of ourselves. Yin yoga focuses on the connective tissues of the hips & also aids in regulating the flow of Qi through the Meridian system. There is so much more I could scribe here, but so little time and I still need to go practice!
My Theme is inspired by Rumi. "So let the body speak for you now without you saying a word, like the student walking behind the teacher says this one knows better than I the way."
I'm listening to my body and I am feeling I need this:
*The following links are from YinYoga.com. I love this site because it offers contraindications and I am a safety girl!
A couple of rounds of gentle Suryanamaskar to warm the muscles (though it's 1,000 degrees in Texas right now, so I could just step outside for 30 seconds)
Anahatasana
Sphinx
Some Dragons
Camel
Saddle
Half Butterfly
Reclining Twists
Savasana
Then I will meditate on how great it is to be all by myself with the kids banging on my door.
I am not one for "fighting" to get to a yoga class and will consider my children's vacation from school as a sign I need to get a little more serious about my personal practice. Oh, but how I love to socialize with my favorite people at Blue Anjou, the best yoga studio in the history of ever (as my good friend Leila likes to say).
Here we are: (Kent Pilkington Photography)
With all of my boot camping, running, and biking I've been doing this summer, my quads are feeling pretty rock solid and my hip flexors feel shorter.
Anatomy Lesson? Ok.
While a nice, slow, Vinyasa Flow class is sounding quite loverly right now, it is a gentle, Yin Yoga class my body needs. The beauty of a personal practice is that I can do exactly what my body needs and then afterward I will be forced to socialize with myself and that's not such a bad thing is it?
My Plan:
Because Yin yoga focuses on the connective tissues of the body, we must hold these asanas for several minutes. Originally there were only 14 Yin poses, but naturally, we (meaning the masses who teach yoga and think they know better)have created more, so I have plenty of options to choose from. A Yin practice is perfect for athletes and teaches us about the softer side of ourselves. Yin yoga focuses on the connective tissues of the hips & also aids in regulating the flow of Qi through the Meridian system. There is so much more I could scribe here, but so little time and I still need to go practice!
My Theme is inspired by Rumi. "So let the body speak for you now without you saying a word, like the student walking behind the teacher says this one knows better than I the way."
I'm listening to my body and I am feeling I need this:
*The following links are from YinYoga.com. I love this site because it offers contraindications and I am a safety girl!
A couple of rounds of gentle Suryanamaskar to warm the muscles (though it's 1,000 degrees in Texas right now, so I could just step outside for 30 seconds)
Anahatasana
Sphinx
Some Dragons
Camel
Saddle
Half Butterfly
Reclining Twists
Savasana
Then I will meditate on how great it is to be all by myself with the kids banging on my door.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Sunshine and Daisies Today, Cloudiness and Weeds Tomorrow
If you knew yourself for even one moment,
If you could just glimpse your most beautiful face,
Maybe you wouldn’t slumber so deeply in that house of clay.
Why not move into your house of joy
and shine into every crevice!
For you are the secret Treasure-bearer, always have been.
Didn’t you know?
~ Rumi
As a yoga teacher, I believe my job is to offer an experience such that a poem like the one mentioned above becomes an inner knowing, that this is Truth, and yes, Bliss is our birthright. We are perfect as we are. All is as it should be. This feeling, this inner knowing is easy to teach when one is on top of their game and feeling an abundance of joy to share, but what of circumstances when a yoga teacher or any spiritual teacher is going through difficult experiences I prefer to term “growing pains”. As much as we are viewed as “having it all together” in our field, we still must fall if we are to continue our spiritual growth. With any growth, there must be discomfort of some sort or we become unaware or stagnant. If we become unaware, we lose sight of the bigger picture and our knowing that the universe/God resides within us and so, we are all connected. If we become stagnant we become stale, leaving our students wanting more from us, yet we have nothing to give. We spend thousands of dollars training ourselves on the physical forms of yoga, ignoring the needs of the spirit.
How do we continue as yoga teachers to teach peace, love, bliss when we feel disharmony, distrust, and/or sorrow? I believe this is an opportunity to relate to our students, making us that much more approachable and believable when offering our teachings. Perhaps it may be a jolt when the usual Happy-Go-Lucky, Sunshine, and Gerber Daisy’s teacher takes his/her space on the mat, offering a lesson from a place where feelings of grief, cloudiness, and weeds reside. We can utilize our current state of being in our teachings of the Yoga Sutras of Pantanjali, which guide us through the roller coaster life within the human condition. We may be spiritual beings, but we are humans on planet Earth and sometimes life is uncomfortable, even for the most spiritual of human beings. Just as a physical manifestation of pain denotes our body’s need to be tended to, so does the pain of the spirit suggest we have some spiritual healing to do.
Finally, because we teach like aspects of Rumi’s poem, our students, if they have taken our previous teachings sincerely and to heart, they will notice the struggle and the truth behind the “always peaceful and optimistic” persona we try to create for the sake of our students. My experience has been that the students intuitively know when it is their time to teach us and they do so with a pat on the back, an inspirational email, a smile after class that is filled with 1,000 words of encouragement, or even a mention of a lesson you taught them that hits home and is appropriate for your current state of being.
So, while we teach all experiences are designed for our growth and everything is as it should be, we still must allow ourselves to falter, fall, and finally grow more beautifully than we could ever imagine. We must continue to encourage and love ourselves as much as we encourage and love our students. This seems logical, but while the path is difficult, we must remember the quote, “It’s the journey, not the destination”.
If you could just glimpse your most beautiful face,
Maybe you wouldn’t slumber so deeply in that house of clay.
Why not move into your house of joy
and shine into every crevice!
For you are the secret Treasure-bearer, always have been.
Didn’t you know?
~ Rumi
As a yoga teacher, I believe my job is to offer an experience such that a poem like the one mentioned above becomes an inner knowing, that this is Truth, and yes, Bliss is our birthright. We are perfect as we are. All is as it should be. This feeling, this inner knowing is easy to teach when one is on top of their game and feeling an abundance of joy to share, but what of circumstances when a yoga teacher or any spiritual teacher is going through difficult experiences I prefer to term “growing pains”. As much as we are viewed as “having it all together” in our field, we still must fall if we are to continue our spiritual growth. With any growth, there must be discomfort of some sort or we become unaware or stagnant. If we become unaware, we lose sight of the bigger picture and our knowing that the universe/God resides within us and so, we are all connected. If we become stagnant we become stale, leaving our students wanting more from us, yet we have nothing to give. We spend thousands of dollars training ourselves on the physical forms of yoga, ignoring the needs of the spirit.
How do we continue as yoga teachers to teach peace, love, bliss when we feel disharmony, distrust, and/or sorrow? I believe this is an opportunity to relate to our students, making us that much more approachable and believable when offering our teachings. Perhaps it may be a jolt when the usual Happy-Go-Lucky, Sunshine, and Gerber Daisy’s teacher takes his/her space on the mat, offering a lesson from a place where feelings of grief, cloudiness, and weeds reside. We can utilize our current state of being in our teachings of the Yoga Sutras of Pantanjali, which guide us through the roller coaster life within the human condition. We may be spiritual beings, but we are humans on planet Earth and sometimes life is uncomfortable, even for the most spiritual of human beings. Just as a physical manifestation of pain denotes our body’s need to be tended to, so does the pain of the spirit suggest we have some spiritual healing to do.
Finally, because we teach like aspects of Rumi’s poem, our students, if they have taken our previous teachings sincerely and to heart, they will notice the struggle and the truth behind the “always peaceful and optimistic” persona we try to create for the sake of our students. My experience has been that the students intuitively know when it is their time to teach us and they do so with a pat on the back, an inspirational email, a smile after class that is filled with 1,000 words of encouragement, or even a mention of a lesson you taught them that hits home and is appropriate for your current state of being.
So, while we teach all experiences are designed for our growth and everything is as it should be, we still must allow ourselves to falter, fall, and finally grow more beautifully than we could ever imagine. We must continue to encourage and love ourselves as much as we encourage and love our students. This seems logical, but while the path is difficult, we must remember the quote, “It’s the journey, not the destination”.
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